Social Skills for Teens With Autism: What Helps and How to Start

Autistic teens can learn and practice social skills throughout the teen years. The best-studied programs teach each skill as clear steps and have teens practice it in real life, with parents coaching at home. The aim is friendships your teen wants and the confidence to ask for what they need, without having to act less autistic.

Key Takeaways

• Social life asks more of teens: Friendships move from shared play to long talks and group chats, which can take extra effort for an autistic teen.
• Group programs with parent coaching have strong research: Teens who practiced clear social steps had more get-togethers than teens on a waitlist.
• Connection is the goal: Good support helps your teen make friends and ask for what they need, without hiding who they are.
• Support for teen social goals: Alpaca Health can match your family with a Board Certified Behavior Analyst when you start your intake.

Why do social skills get harder in the teen years?

Friendships in middle and high school move from shared play to talk, group chats, inside jokes and plans made without adults. Fitting in with peers also starts to matter more. Dating and more freedom bring new situations.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) lists social communication and interaction as one of the two main groups of autism traits. So these moments can take more effort for an autistic teen.

You may notice that your teen:

• Finds it hard to keep a conversation going.
• Takes words literally or misses small cues, like a tone of voice or a joke.
• Wants to join a group but isn't sure how to step in or step out.
• Falls into talking patterns that come across as one-sided.
• Loves a topic deeply but isn't sure how to share it with peers.

Social skills can be learned and practiced all through the teen years, especially when support starts from where your teen is today.

Support for the hard days.

When you're ready for expert support, Alpaca Health matches your family with a BCBA who can help with the hardest moments, at home or in a clinic.

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Which social skills do autistic teens work on?

Teen programs focus on the skills that help a teen make and keep friends. The first seven rows below come from the topics the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) lists for its PEERS for Adolescents program as of November 2026. The last row comes from the applied behavior analysis (ABA) practice guidelines of the Council of Autism Service Providers (CASP), which list self-advocacy as a treatment area.

The goals in the right column are examples. UCLA only takes teens who want to come, and the CASP guidelines include the client when goals are chosen. If a goal doesn't matter to your teen, ask the team to drop it.

Do social skills programs work for autistic teens?

They can help, but the gains in studies are small to moderate, and the research has gaps.

A 2012 Cochrane review, a careful summary of the best studies, found five trials with 196 people aged 6 to 21. Each trial placed people in groups by chance. The review found some evidence that social skills groups may improve social skills and friendships.

A larger 2024 review pooled 36 trials with 2,796 people aged 9 to 18. Social skills training helped more than a waitlist or usual care, with a small-to-moderate effect. Anxious or depressed feelings also eased a little, on average.

Both reviews only included young people with average or higher thinking skills. The 2024 review was limited to teens with Level 1 autism, who have lower support needs. The 2012 review's trials were all in the US and mostly with children aged 7 to 12.

So less is known about teens with higher support needs, and the 2024 review couldn't tell whether results differ for autistic girls. If a group doesn't fit your teen, ask the provider how they'd adapt it.

What is the PEERS program?

The Program for the Education and Enrichment of Relational Skills (PEERS) is a social skills program developed at UCLA. At UCLA, PEERS for Adolescents runs for 16 weeks as of November 2026, with a 90-minute group each week for teens in middle or high school. Parents meet at the same time in their own group to learn how to coach.

PEERS teaches each skill in four steps, according to its founder in a 2013 American Psychological Association podcast:

1. Teens learn the skill as a set of clear rules and steps.
2. Group leaders act out good and bad examples in role-play.
3. Teens rehearse the skill and get coaching in the moment.
4. Teens get homework to use the skill in real life.

In the first UCLA trial, teens aged 13 to 17 learned more about social skills and hosted more get-togethers than teens waiting to start. Parents rated their social skills higher, but teacher ratings didn't clearly change, possibly because few forms came back. A 2012 UCLA trial found that gains in nearly all areas held 14 weeks after the program ended.

In 2014, a team at Marquette University ran its own trial with 58 teens aged 11 to 16. Compared with teens on a waitlist, they gained friendship skills and had more get-togethers. Their social anxiety also dropped. For families without a PEERS group nearby, the rules and steps are in a parent book, The Science of Making Friends.

How does ABA help teens build social skills?

ABA can work on social skills at any age. The CASP guidelines say focused ABA, a plan aimed at a few goals, is not limited by age and can target social skills. It can happen one-on-one or in a small group, where the team guides teens as they practice with each other.

For teens, ABA goals can include:

• Back-and-forth conversation.
• Flexible thinking and seeing another person's point of view.
• The unwritten rules of social groups.
• The ups and downs of friendships.
• Coping with anxiety, frustration and social setbacks.

A therapist breaks a hard social moment into small steps, then rewards each success in everyday settings. ABA social skills training for teens uses few flashcards or drills. It often looks like this:

• Real conversations with real people, without scripts.
• Your teen's own interests, like gaming, sports, music or art.
• Practice at school, at community events or in online spaces.
• Time with peers, along with adults.

Sessions can happen at school, after school or in other familiar places. For working parents, that can make coaching possible without changing work hours or driving far. The CASP guidelines also list parent training as an ABA service, so you can coach the same skills at home.

Is fitting in the goal for autistic teens?

The goal is connection, which means friendships your teen wants and the words to ask for what they need.

Masking means hiding autistic traits to fit in, and it can take a toll. In a study of 92 autistic adults, people said they masked to fit in and connect with others. They named exhaustion and a shaken sense of self among its effects.

Autistic adults in a small 2020 burnout study linked unmasking with recovery from autism burnout, a long stretch of deep exhaustion and lost skills. The researchers warned about the risks of teaching autistic people to mask.

Social mix-ups between autistic and non-autistic people run both ways. In a 2020 study of 72 adults, autistic people passed a story to each other as well as non-autistic people did. Mixed groups shared less of the story and felt less rapport. The authors concluded that autistic people have the skills to share information well with one another.

Forced eye contact and still hands don't belong on your teen's goal list. A neurodiversity-affirming approach treats autistic ways of relating as differences to understand, and UCLA now calls PEERS neuroaffirming. If a program's goals focus on looking less autistic, ask the provider why.

How can parents help with social skills at home?

You can be your teen's social coach, which is the job PEERS gives parents. Before a party or a new club, talk through what will happen and what your teen might say. A social story lays this out in short sentences or pictures, and it can help some teens feel ready.

After a get-together, ask what went well before you ask what was hard. Help plan visits around a shared interest, and let your teen choose the next goal. ABA activities for teenagers turn a skill into a short task, such as a co-op video game with one talking rule.

What social skills support can school provide?

School can write social goals into your teen's individualized education program (IEP), the written plan for special education. Federal law says the IEP must include measurable annual goals, both academic and functional. So you can ask the team to add social IEP goals, such as joining a lunch-table talk.

Under the federal IEP rules, planning for life after high school starts by the first IEP in effect when your teen turns 16. That IEP must list goals for after high school and the services to reach them. The team can start earlier. You can also ask whether the school runs social skills groups or peer programs.

How Alpaca Health helps teens with social skills

Alpaca Health matches families with a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA), the clinician who plans and oversees therapy. That BCBA can lead ABA therapy for teens that works on social goals. The provider can coordinate support in natural settings, such as school and other community spaces, so practice happens where your teen spends time.

Alpaca Health also handles the insurance paperwork, which leaves you more room to focus on your teen's growth and confidence. If your teen wants help building friendships or feeling more at ease in groups, you can get started with Alpaca Health.

You don't have to figure this out alone.

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Frequently asked questions about social skills for autistic teens

How can I help my autistic teenager with social skills?

Start by asking your teen which social goals matter to them. Then help them practice in small steps before real events. A structured group or an ABA plan can add practice with peers.

Where can a teen on the spectrum learn to socialize?

School social skills groups and clubs built around an interest are good places to start. Programs such as PEERS and ABA sessions in the community add more coaching. If you'd like a BCBA to build social goals into a therapy plan, you can get matched with a BCBA.

Can you be autistic and have good social skills?

Yes. Autistic people can have strong social skills, and in a 2020 study autistic adults shared a story with each other as well as non-autistic adults did. Some autistic people also mask, which can make social life look easier than it feels.

Why do autistic teens find social situations hard?

Differences in social communication are a core part of autism, so reading tone or a group's unspoken rules can take more effort. The gap runs both ways, and in one study mixed groups of autistic and non-autistic adults shared less information and felt less rapport.

Is it too late to work on social skills as a teenager?

Teens can still build social skills. The PEERS trials enrolled teens aged 11 to 17, and those teens had more get-togethers by the end of the program. Many teens want friends and to feel understood, and support that starts from their own goals can help.