Parenting can be a beautiful and deeply meaningful experience. It can also be exhausting, overwhelming, and isolating- especially when caregiving becomes all-consuming. If you're reading this, you likely don’t need to be told that self-care matters. But you might need permission to believe you deserve it, and practical tools to make it feel possible. This guide is for you.
Recognizing Caregiver Burnout: More Than Just Tired
Burnout might look like:
Irritability, detachment, or emotional numbness
Physical symptoms like headaches, poor sleep, or stomach issues
Feeling you’re never doing enough, even when exhausted
A loss of interest in things that once brought joy
Recognizing these signs is not about labeling yourself as unwell. It’s the first step toward reclaiming your health.
What Self-Care Really Means
Self-care is not about luxury- it’s about sustainability. It means checking in with yourself the same way you check in with your child. It might be small and quiet, like letting yourself rest without guilt. Or carving out a moment of peace after a hard day.
Research from caregiver wellbeing studies (Sciacca, 1996; Moon & Kim, 2020) shows that consistent, minor acts of self-kindness reduce stress hormones and improve resilience- even more than rare “big” breaks.
Building Micro-Moments of Rest Into Your Day
Even if long breaks aren’t possible, short and frequent pauses can make a meaningful difference. These grounding practices help reset your nervous system in just a few minutes.
Micro-Moments of Regulation and Relief
These tiny but potent acts can shift your nervous system into a more balanced state:
Warm sensory wrapping: Toss a robe or blanket in the dryer for a few minutes, then wrap it around yourself. Warmth activates parasympathetic relaxation responses.
5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Method:
5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste. This classic technique has clinical support for anxiety reduction.Essential oils, incense, or scented candles: Familiar scents can enhance mood and memory, reducing emotional fatigue.
Sketch your space: Draw the things around you, no matter how rough. Research in art therapy shows this can reduce cortisol levels and help anchor attention.
Parallel rest: Sit beside your child as they play or stim. You don’t need to engage. Just rest in their rhythm.
These aren’t distractions. They’re recalibrations.
Free or Low-Cost Respite Care
Respite isn’t a luxury. It’s an essential support that gives you the space to rest, reflect, and recover. I hope these resources help:
ARCH National Respite Network - Autism Resource Guide - Comprehensive national guide to autism-specific respite care
Behavioral Innovations: Respite Care Benefits for Caregivers - Overview of how respite supports caregivers of autistic children
KidsHealth: What Is Respite Care? - A family-friendly explanation of respite and how to find it
You can also ask local nonprofits, Medicaid waiver programs, or Family-to-Family centers for help navigating these systems.
Creating a Backup Care Plan
Having a plan in place can make it easier to accept help. Some ideas include:
A list of trusted caregivers or contacts
A cheat sheet with calming techniques, preferred foods, sensory triggers, and emergency numbers
A shared digital copy with the people you trust
Emotional Support Through Parent Groups
Sometimes the most validating words come from another parent or person who’s been there. One idea is joining virtual or national groups where shared understanding is at the center.
Inclusive, non-location-specific Facebook groups for caregiver support:
Autism Inclusivity - A neurodiversity-affirming space co-run by autistic adults and caregivers. Highly moderated and educational
Autism Awareness and Parent Support Group - General emotional support and connection
Parents of Kids with Sensory Issues & Autism - Larger support group with a range of parenting experiences
Many of these spaces also share free webinars, tools, and access to lived-experience mentorship.
Guilt Is a Signal, Not a Sentence
If you feel guilty for needing a break, you’re not broken. You’re human. Guilt often signals how deeply you care- but it shouldn't become the reason you don’t care for yourself.
Rest isn't the opposite of love. It's part of love. It allows you to continue showing up for your child with presence instead of depletion.
Podcasts and YouTube Channels That Support You
Podcasts:
Crisis and Mental Health Support
National Parent Helpline: 1-855-427-2736 (M–F)
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
7 Cups - Free, anonymous emotional support
Open Path Collective - Low-cost therapy nationwide
Mental Health America - Free mental health screening tools and resource lists
Final Thought
You are not weak for needing care. You are human. And humans, especially those doing emotionally intensive work, need care to keep going.
Self-care isn’t about escape. It’s about making room for your own wholeness. You deserve that. Your child deserves a caregiver who is grounded and resourced.
